Embracing Me series: My Journey of Loving myself

Hey Everyone! I think we all can agree that we have a hard time loving ourselves. It took a while for me to post this particular blog post. The evening that I wrote this, I had received some awesome encouragement from my Pastor on how it’s okay to be unique and the peculiar things about ourselves God can use. Well… he told me that God would use the peculiar things about myself to bring others to get to know the Lord. As I am still asking God what these peculiar things are, I decided to spill my heart out and mark today as the journey of embracing who I am. This year has been tough, and the insecurities and depression I have been overcoming has been crazy. But I’ve decided there’s no more time to waste! If I want to move forward, I need to start being me and not caring if I’m “different”. I’ll write more on this Embracing Me series, so please stay tuned.


        The peculiar things. I have always thought of myself as a very set apart, but spiritual misfit. I usually have people always trying to figure me out, but what you should know is that you won’t. I can be complex in several positive ways. Don’t try and figure me out, you won’t be able to. I love being mysterious, I love being a woman of uniqueness.

The peculiar things. Okay, if you’re reading this blog, brace yourself. Because I just want to lay out my heart on what makes me unique. I’m not nerdy, but I’m quirky. I have various different perspectives and unique interests that might not make sense to people. I am this, but not that. That, but not this. As a step into transparency and an act of faith in boldness. I have never done this before, hopefully it will explain somethings, but not all. So here goes my heart:

“I have an extremely soft heart. I don’t mean that I let people in without using caution/discernment. But I am just a princess. I am feel like a baby to God, a daughter that is spoiled by her Heavenly Father. Days as I go walking through my life, I feel like a Beauty Queen, but to be more specific a princess. I walk as if I have a crown on my head and a Cinderella dress on. I know I’m royalty. I talk to my Daddy above as I would if I was were His most favored daughter in the world; no pride here, I just have that type of relationship with my Heavenly Lord.

I have a strong ability to see the beauty in people. I guess you could say I’m passionate about people, but at times I am anti-social (slowly getting over that). I view youth as kings and queens, that are favored in the eyes of the Heavenly King. Going back to beauty, this is one of my biggest passions. Most people, especially people of this race, might question and not truly understand….I believe that the African-American race is one of the strongest races out there, in my opinion. When it comes to women, they are clothed in strength and dignity. Absolutely stunning women; carrying boldness, flavor, rhythm, strength and passion. Beautiful natural hair that should be embraced. I wish my hair contained similar texture. It is just to gorgeous not to stare; it probably gets annoying when people always want to touch it. I just wanted to say, black is beautiful. My opinion might not mean much to some, but hopefully others would begin to see that the perspective of the world isn’t always black and white. Some of us truly admire melanin, culture and roots. 

And black men, they are something on a whole other level. I dream of marrying a black man; why? I don’t know, the desire didn’t strike me until I hit high school. Then again, I started to understand why I had this desire, it relates to a whole other purpose…Anyway, God wanted already confirmed that would be his identity. But to go on, I see black men as the strongest of men. They carry such strength that flows through their blood. Lyrical and athletic ability. Rhythm and dance. The African-American culture isn’t solely based on these things. This is just what I admire the most; it’s what makes me passionate about having a black husband, black children. The beauty lies within the skin, it’s not the sole identity, but it’s part of it. I find beauty in every skin tone, every pigment, all light and darkness.

Another thing in relation to this is I want such a multicultural family. Black children, Hispanic children, Indian children, Chinese and Filipino children, African children, inner city children, abandoned children, children outside these borders and even a few white children (cause I know the man I marry will have this desire too, and God knows he’s gonna want some white babies, lol). Adoption and youth spark a passion in me; I want such a unique and mixed family because I believe in the beauty of culture. I don’t really know culture, I feel that sometimes being white has caused us to lack knowledge of culture and even the understanding that we do have a culture of our own. Since I don’t have much culture of my own, I desire to embrace the cultures those of my husband and children.
I am a huge hip hop fan. I am really passionate about rap music. Call me crazy for being white with red hair, as a hip hop head. But I believe hip hop will be a tool I can use to reach in the future.

This is a big one…I am so passionate about youth. Particularly inner city youth. I relate to brokenness, rejection and pain. Though I have experienced healing through it all, I have been given a marvelous testimony to help THOUSANDS break free from strongholds.

I secretly love mermaids, and the beach. Real talk. I feel like I’m a mermaid just like area. I love starfish, seashells, and the way the beach smells. I enjoy roaming it. I always have God on my mind.

I am passionate about writing. I can have such writer’s block, but watch the moment that God grants me with a spark of an idea, I can write pages within ten plus minutes. The fire that begins to up rise in me is incredible. My writings can be very prophetic. There are things that I wrote years ago with the motive behind just writing for the idea. During last year especially, I began to find out just what my writings meant. They were not merely for ideas, but God expressing His hidden mysteries regarding my life. I connect deeply with God and my future husband through my writings to them both. It’s just incredible.

I was formed by a Creative God. And therefore, I am filled with creative abilities. I might not understand in full the abilities I have, but God is surely speaking to me through them.

I am a warrior. This season of my life has taught me so much.  Out of it all, I’ve learned I’m a warrior highness.

Last to know about me, for now…I am healed. I am set free. I am a new creation. And in this new season, I am a woman of faith, and the grass won’t be able to grow under my feet as I walk in faith. I am made whole. I am a warrior, but at peace. I am STRONG and capable of great things. I am purely rare, set apart. Beautiful and precious, but most definitely unique and different. I walk in supernatural excellence, highly anointed. I am a…jewel, in my Father’s crown. He’s where I derive my purpose and identity from. Queen Status.”

That’s all I can think of for now. But those are the most sacred pieces of my heart. God has been the keeper of all these secrets, but He’s pushing me to unleash them so potential and purpose can be unlocked. It’s time now. These quirks, dreams and confessions are prophetic. Some are even in the making.

What are some unique things about yourself? Share some in the comments!


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