Tag Archive | Beauty

Believing the Word of God anyway…When Battling with your feelings/oppression

I always know when I’m under a spiritual attack or spiritual warefare. I always start off doing great. I’m reading my Word, and praying. Feeling like I can conquer anything because I have stayed close to God. Then off of a sudden a random spark or frustration enter my life, and lately as it seems to be able to knock me off course. I fall into a depression and I begin becoming distant.

To be real…it’s scary how you can know God’s Word and know that falling away from Him isn’t a good idea, but you still are convinced it’s no big deal anyway. Then you begin to feel symptoms of oppression from the devil during that times. It’s real guys, spiritual warfare is out there because satan does not want us to succeed in victory. I don’t mean to credit him for his evil schemes, but he has a way of oppressing some of us enough to where we get comfortable in it, and enough to where we aren’t desperate for God to deliver us. His main goal is to make us feel defeated to where we completely give up…and why? Because he knows the potential we have to work in the Kingdom of God, and he desperately needs to stop us so we cannot succeed. I’m a little off topic, but in the midst of me feeling attacked and nor having the strength to get in God’s word. I’m doing it anyway. I’m also reading a book called Girls with Swords by Lisa Bevere. And it has helped me to see why the battle between God’s children and the devil is so real and what’s really going on.

But continuing on, I have noticed especially during these times where I feel distant from God, I’ve usually slipped back into a state of oppression. And the lies (I say lies because they’re extremely convincing, but not from God) that I have believed about God are crazy. That is what also has kept me from wanting to seek Him further. But… I know what the Word says…and I know who God really is. Why am I so persuaded that His character is not what it says it is? It’s in His Word, He says He loves me so much that He sent His son Jesus Christ to die for me. So I could have everlasting life! 

That’s the part as believers that we have to conquer. Along with so many other influences, I believe the media is one that has such a pedestal and has convinced us that we are not worth what we really are. Weight is not good enough… body shape, hair, facial features, economic status, how much we possess. So we take all of those things, and actually believe what they say. You’re nothing if you don’t have …… And we believe that!

Then, when we come to God’s Word, we have a hard time believing Him because we let lies from the devil and these outside sources hold their “credibility” in our minds. We can believe all this other stuff from the Bible (if even that), but the part about God having a plan for our life in Jeremiah 29:11 can’t be true? 

2 Timothy 3:16-17 says:

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work


The important part I want you to see is, All Scripture is God-breathed. The Word was written through other people, but it was God inspired and He gave them the words to write. God is never silent but speaks very thorough on His thoughts toward His people.

This morning I had to push myself to start reading the Word again, after being out of it for a few months. The thought came to mind of what am I going to do when I read the Word? As I’m reading these verses, will I believe them to be true? Or see that they are true and straight from God’s word, but continue believing the lies I’ve believed (that are contrary to God’s word)?

That’s when I realized, I will actually have to believe even when my mind and emotions don’t feel like it. We are so often looking for a feeling that makes us feel like reading our Bibles, or praying. We won’t always feel motivated to do that. And when in a war against the enemy, it’s our choice to press through and stay close to God or fall away. There isn’t a gravitational force that connects us to God. This isn’t to say that God has left us during this time. But not spending time with Him will cause us to feel as though He’s left. And that’s the truth. It would be the same way if we had a relationship with anybody in our life. I spend time with a friend for a couple days during the week. We begin to skip hanging out during the week, and a month or two goes by. I don’t feel that closeness to that person as much because we’ve given up our personal time together. The relationship hasn’t felt like it’s growing.

The Word of God is clear when it talks about finding God.

Jeremiah 29:13 NIV

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

I hope this post wasn’t too all over the place. I really encourage your if you are struggling with doubt about the way God sees you, or even getting back into your Bible, to do it anyway. There’s no formula that I can give yout that’ll make your doubt magically appear. There’s not a 3 step method. But when you get in God’s Word, your mind will be transformed to believing the truth. Along with prayer, you will begin to feel closer to God as you stay in consistency. Overall, the ultimate factor over believing truth over the lies is choice. I learned that this morning as I read this,

Psalm 139:15‭-‬18 NIV

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you.

I had no other way to make myself get this scripture that God’s thoughts are precious to me. I have to train my mind to see myself as God sees me. Train myself to believe that His word is true. Because I know it is, but because of the way I perceive myself at times, it often conflicts with whether or not I will believe what He really says. And He created me! So how can the Creator of the universe, who created me…and knows me inside and out.. be false in His thoughts towards me?

A mini project I do is writing scripture of God’s thoughts towards me on some note cards and put it on my wall or somen here that I can see it often. And do repeat it to myself often daily as part of training my mind of the Gods truth. Here’s a few encouraging ones, but there’s so much more!

Jeremiah 29:11, Psalm 139, Psalm 18:2, Psalm 140:7

Be blessed guys! 


A New Breed

Hey everyone! I’m writing a little unrhyming poetry on something that was on my spirit last night. I find that now adays, there’s such difference in the way I relate to people. Like, there are very few people on that relatable level. So I was inspired to write this to just be vulnerable about how I feel very different from people sometimes, but I still embrace being unique. It’s a little different than what I usually write, but I hope you enjoy it!

A New Breed

I’m a new breed of human. And that’s not to sound weird. 

Everywhere I look though, people of similar relatablility are yet to be found.

It’s like they sense my uniqueness, and are turned away, uninterested maybe.

Unique, passionate and full of soul & culture.

On fire for God, His Princess, Royalty. 

I have yet to find someone that understands, 

Even a quarter what I say. If I did, I would be good. 

I don’t question if I’m unique or hate the fact I am the way I am.

Secretly though, I wish I could find the tribe of “misfits” similar to myself.

As I said, the “uniqueness” that I refer to are not weird passions, or odd interests.

But simply a life of serving God and embracing life’s beauty, diversity and God’s creativity. 
Living as a new breed means being set apart.

The trials that come with being set apart is having to walk the road alone sometimes, most of the time.

Endurance, perserverance, and above all… strength.

A graceful woman and a soulful spirit. 

I’m passionate about things that the world sees as foreign.

I am in love with cultures that are not my own, and embrace them beautifully. 

In all honestly, I have become apart of culture myself as I daily grow through it passionately. 

What I am about, I hope to find in another one day.

But in this new breed…

With a population of 1, at least that I know,

They don’t exist… do they?

If they do, welcome to my…our world. 

Hakeem’s Lyric: Seeking the Bronze Key

September 3, 2016

Hakeem “Wise”

Shaya “God’s Gift”

Below I have written a poem similar to the poetry style of Songs of Solomon in the Bible, except it is more modern day and easy to figure out its symbolic meanings.. Solomon admired every aspect of his bride. Every aspect of her body, her beauty and pursued her through their relationship. In this story, Hakeem is an example of a modern day husband that pursued his wife in every area of their relationship.  I will post on this blog and include the rest of the parts to the poem series that I will post little by little! Follow my blog to be updated and leave a like or comment below to let me know what you thought of the story! Enjoy…

Hakeem… (The Pursuer)

She is a jewel of her own, incomparable to the others. An Isolated Gem.. Complimented with jewelry that enhances her beauty more. She’s so gentle and beautiful. Precious… I gaze upon her beauty, it is so overpowering. I feel weak, in a good way, because all I want to do is serve her, protect her but most importantly lead her. My Beauty. God must have used a detailed blueprint when He made her. Every detail of her face is perfection, and yet perfectly flawed. Each scar, mark, indent and line.

Shaya… (God’s Gift)

I never thought I was worthy when I was accompanied by my beloved. Hidden. Isolated. Forgotten. That’s what I felt like at times. I never was pursued, I never was lead. I desired to be carried away, but most men weren’t strong enough. They did not have the confidence to approach me.  An answered prayer, that was worth the wait I endured through singleness. In his presence, I never felt my time was wasted. Most of it is spent admiring him. His attire represents him as strong. On his right arm, is a tattoo of my name, engraved in a heart. Simple, but classic. I was afraid that soon he would have to bear the pain of having my name; and if we separated, he would be stuck with it permanently. Thank you my beloved, for teaching me how to be strong. Thank you for embracing me even in the midst of my deepest hurts. I couldn’t trust you at first, but you have truly proved me wrong. You never left…

As Solomon once compared his bride, so am I comparing you “Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the young women.” (Song of Solomon 2:2) Nothing out there in the world that is so perfectly held by God as her. You have had suffered a lot of disappointments, but I am here to protect you from ever feeling that with me. Open your heart to me, and reveal the depths of your soul. I desire to explore your hurts, fears and disappointment; I can’t make them go away, but I will hold you thru it all. I am not your strength, but we both know who grants it to us.

Fight is all we know. The trials we have endured together since the beginning…oh, how hard they seemed at first. Yet, they put to death the fear and the hurt we once knew. It allowed us to cleave, as one. To fight, as one. To struggle, as one. Three cords are not easily broken.

Prior to meeting her, all I knew was fight and all she knew was pain. Well, they are both one in the same. Though her struggles were quite different than mine. Hers kept herself locked in a box covered with roses and leaves and she was afraid to come out. I lacked faith for a while because I thought I never would be able to see her. The key was misplaced, and when I found it, it was distorted.

In the beginning I precaution him. “Don’t open the box. You don’t know what lies inside.” If he knew, he wouldn’t go any further. There was darkness and fear. That’s why the key was distorted, because others had glanced upon the rose decorative box but didn’t realize something so ugly could be lying inside the box.The trespassers purged their way through, and jacked up the key. Neither could they open it. The cry for help frightened them and they proceeded no further, dropping the key in various places.

Her Father gave me the key…that was the only way…I spent so much time searching for it. He put it right in my sight; a dull bronze key lied within His hand. “This is to be treasured. If you cannot treasure it, I will have to ask for it back.” His last reply made me think. I really had to be careful, this wasn’t any ordinary key. The key was to her heart.

Peaceful Warrior

Slay, slay, slay….

This Queen fights her battles. Her voice is her greatest weapon. In her quietest moments, she speaks volumes. Declaring, Decreeing, Confessing. Evil arises, she hears it and knows it’s time to prepare.

She enters the War Room and sees trouble ahead. Her battles are not flesh and blood, but from the forces of the dark world. Her treasures are what they’re after… they think they can rob her of her safe keeping. That won’t destroy her. If anything, she’s determined to go harder than ever.

Peace resonates through her spirit. She is not afraid, neither does she feel intimidated. 

Trials and tribulations draw her to her knees. Blood, sweat and tears. But no fear. Yet it does not even weaken her. Perseverance is produced, and faith is mounted. 

She reminscences and holds tight to the promises of years ago. The foregoing promises are the shield for the present. They are prophecies of the future’s hidden mysteries. They keep her going, and draw her closer to her Source.
She plugs in to the Source of her Strength. Revival…Freedom, Hope. 

Ready. Refueled. She goes back in the War Room. Confidence awakens. Unshakable. Faith…that’s what is getting her through. Standing. Confessing over her treausres. Protecting them from theives. She hides them in her Source.

Her Strength is unbreakable. The forces are returning, they don’t realize who’s behind her. She’s prepared…

Bring It On.

A Peaceful Warrior awaits. The battle has just begun.

Ephesians 6:12

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

1 Corinthians 16:13

“Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.

A Jewel in His Crown

Zechariah 9:16″ On that day the LORD their God will save them, as the flock of his people; for like the jewels of a crown they shall shine on his land.”

The love I’m learning now, isn’t what I had before. It’s the kind that feels like it’s going away, but you’re holding on so tight to it.

My Father…

He has been the one to never abandon me. A mist all the brokenness I’ve experienced through the years, He’s stayed put. Words like I will carry you through, and I will never forsake you. that’s what keeps me going. 

For a while, I didn’t feel as close to Him. Pain and confusion ruptured my mind. I could not find my Father. He told me He’d never leave. Though I couldn’t find Him. 

Now I’ve had to find my way back into His arms. I must have been so far away to get this distant. I’m sorry, Father. Never again. You are my focus to stay. 

I fight through faith and understanding of His promises. As much as I want to throw my hands up, my eyes cannot look downward. If I do, I’m gone for good. Father, even though I’m still traveling back, and finding my way to You, please just speak a word. If I could only hear Your voice, I will not stumble. I’m doing my best, Lord. 

My mind is distracted and concrete with pain. I don’t understand….aren’t I better than this? Aren’t I better than the pain of the outside world? It makes me never want to step foot outside again. I am handling it the best way I can. Or how I know to. Studying your Word. Overlooking your promises.

Not long ago, You said you haven’t failed me. I will hold tight to that..because everything I once knew isn’t apart of me anymore. I’m not beoken, but I’m struggling to find true wholeness..in You. 

I want to be in love again, with You. But I’m hurting. If you remove the focus f my hurt, I will be fine. All I need is understanding. You an have everything else, I don’t want anything anymore. 

You’ve proven to me my Rock and Fortress. When I trusted You, Ive never been disappointed. I experienced pain and trials, but they gave me the faith I now hold. The pain is slowly disappearing and I feel stronger. more confident. 

Take the broken heart away…it’s Yours. And I don’t want it anymore. Align me back into Your Crown. As not a ruby or a diamond, but the rare jewel I have always been. Not looking like the rest of them. My shine is so much brighter. Much more purer. Sparkling, more than ever. Fit me back into the space I’ve always had on Your Crown. Keep me safe there. Because I know with you, I’m protected. Keep me hidden so I never fall out. Hidden in You..I’ll remain. I shall not be afraid or disappointed.

Daughters of a King…

Lyric… & Justice…


That’s going to be a name of a beautiful baby girl someday. Your name resonates in my spirit. The other day at the preschool, I meet a beautiful girl named Lyric and her sister was named Justice. They reminded me of you and your sister…you are a prophecy being spoken into existence.Interesting enough, your partner in crime might be Justice as well…such beauties you’ll be. Those names continue resonating in my spirit.

Lyric…You will be a strong woman of God. You’ll have a sensitive heart. Extremely gentle and favored by the Lord. You’ll always stay faithful to the Lord. Your name means music. There’s also deeper meaning to it as you will be a deep worshiper of the Lord. You find your strength when your hands stay lifted in praise.


Photo Credit due to: kurleebelle.tumblr.com

Justice…Your confidence is found in Christ. You are bold, and you will stand up against your many enemies. You are a prayer warrior that stays on your knees. God has given you strength to speak trust and words of wisdom. Many will despise it, but you are will be highly favored and rewarded for being the mouthpiece of God.


Photo Credit due to: welovecurly.tumblr.com & Athia Renee (AR) Photography

These pictures are just used for inspiration…they are not based on the children in the pictures. All credit is due to the photographers above, I do not own these photos or photography websites.

True Beauty in Christ

I wake up and look in the mirror. And wonder, who am I? Am I BEAUTIFUL? Theres something wrong with my hair, my figure, my face… Where can I find my true identity? What is beauty?

One thing I have always stuck by is knowing that I AM BEAUTIFUL! I don’t need the media to tell me my worth. Or a guy to critique God’s art.

I just wonder how the Lord made me. Did he paint the freckles? Sculpt my hands. Draw my eyes. Speak my heartbeat.  Breath life into my nostrils. Its the beauty of His art.

I look around and see confusion. I see a gorgeous woman judging her inner self by what her outer apperance looks like. I’m not beautiful because I wear makeup. I’m not important because I wear designer clothes. I can’t have a husband because I don’t look a certain way.

God had a masterpiece in mind. He took his hands and created me. No blueprint, no drawn map. God KNEW me. He knew me by name.when I was in my mothers wound. I was predestined to bring glory to His Name. The Almighty God created me to fulfill HIS purpose, to bring enjoyment to Him!!

I know that even if a man does not tell me I’m beautiful… The Creator of the Universe says I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am His princess and His Beauty Queen. My true beauty is what reflects my Beautiful Lord Jesus Christ. I am my Beloved’s. Crowned with Purpose. I am beautitul. My identity is found in Christ.