Tag Archive | #poetry

California Girl

Hey readers! I was cleaning up some files on my computer when I found this poem I wrote in my creative writing club in high school. Since I’m a California girl, I had to describe my childhood there.

California Girl

I am from the beautiful California breeze;
the famous cherry tree,
that I would climb
each time I visited Grandma’s.
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I am from rose bushes and gardens.
My mom would always plant,
fresh tomatoes in a salad
and let me say they were good eats.

I am from the park down the street.
Where I learned how to ride my bike
Daddy taught me how to ride,
then I learned how to skate.

I am from a place where memories were formed
Where most of the family was born
We were always so close,
California is where I belong the most.

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I am from the land of hope and dreams
Where stars are created and formed
The place I hope to go someday
And be up on that stage
Showing the world what I was made for.

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Embracing Me series: My Journey of Loving myself

Hey Everyone! I think we all can agree that we have a hard time loving ourselves. It took a while for me to post this particular blog post. The evening that I wrote this, I had received some awesome encouragement from my Pastor on how it’s okay to be unique and the peculiar things about ourselves God can use. Well… he told me that God would use the peculiar things about myself to bring others to get to know the Lord. As I am still asking God what these peculiar things are, I decided to spill my heart out and mark today as the journey of embracing who I am. This year has been tough, and the insecurities and depression I have been overcoming has been crazy. But I’ve decided there’s no more time to waste! If I want to move forward, I need to start being me and not caring if I’m “different”. I’ll write more on this Embracing Me series, so please stay tuned.

      

        The peculiar things. I have always thought of myself as a very set apart, but spiritual misfit. I usually have people always trying to figure me out, but what you should know is that you won’t. I can be complex in several positive ways. Don’t try and figure me out, you won’t be able to. I love being mysterious, I love being a woman of uniqueness.

The peculiar things. Okay, if you’re reading this blog, brace yourself. Because I just want to lay out my heart on what makes me unique. I’m not nerdy, but I’m quirky. I have various different perspectives and unique interests that might not make sense to people. I am this, but not that. That, but not this. As a step into transparency and an act of faith in boldness. I have never done this before, hopefully it will explain somethings, but not all. So here goes my heart:

“I have an extremely soft heart. I don’t mean that I let people in without using caution/discernment. But I am just a princess. I am feel like a baby to God, a daughter that is spoiled by her Heavenly Father. Days as I go walking through my life, I feel like a Beauty Queen, but to be more specific a princess. I walk as if I have a crown on my head and a Cinderella dress on. I know I’m royalty. I talk to my Daddy above as I would if I was were His most favored daughter in the world; no pride here, I just have that type of relationship with my Heavenly Lord.

I have a strong ability to see the beauty in people. I guess you could say I’m passionate about people, but at times I am anti-social (slowly getting over that). I view youth as kings and queens, that are favored in the eyes of the Heavenly King. Going back to beauty, this is one of my biggest passions. Most people, especially people of this race, might question and not truly understand….I believe that the African-American race is one of the strongest races out there, in my opinion. When it comes to women, they are clothed in strength and dignity. Absolutely stunning women; carrying boldness, flavor, rhythm, strength and passion. Beautiful natural hair that should be embraced. I wish my hair contained similar texture. It is just to gorgeous not to stare; it probably gets annoying when people always want to touch it. I just wanted to say, black is beautiful. My opinion might not mean much to some, but hopefully others would begin to see that the perspective of the world isn’t always black and white. Some of us truly admire melanin, culture and roots. 

And black men, they are something on a whole other level. I dream of marrying a black man; why? I don’t know, the desire didn’t strike me until I hit high school. Then again, I started to understand why I had this desire, it relates to a whole other purpose…Anyway, God wanted already confirmed that would be his identity. But to go on, I see black men as the strongest of men. They carry such strength that flows through their blood. Lyrical and athletic ability. Rhythm and dance. The African-American culture isn’t solely based on these things. This is just what I admire the most; it’s what makes me passionate about having a black husband, black children. The beauty lies within the skin, it’s not the sole identity, but it’s part of it. I find beauty in every skin tone, every pigment, all light and darkness.

Another thing in relation to this is I want such a multicultural family. Black children, Hispanic children, Indian children, Chinese and Filipino children, African children, inner city children, abandoned children, children outside these borders and even a few white children (cause I know the man I marry will have this desire too, and God knows he’s gonna want some white babies, lol). Adoption and youth spark a passion in me; I want such a unique and mixed family because I believe in the beauty of culture. I don’t really know culture, I feel that sometimes being white has caused us to lack knowledge of culture and even the understanding that we do have a culture of our own. Since I don’t have much culture of my own, I desire to embrace the cultures those of my husband and children.
I am a huge hip hop fan. I am really passionate about rap music. Call me crazy for being white with red hair, as a hip hop head. But I believe hip hop will be a tool I can use to reach in the future.

This is a big one…I am so passionate about youth. Particularly inner city youth. I relate to brokenness, rejection and pain. Though I have experienced healing through it all, I have been given a marvelous testimony to help THOUSANDS break free from strongholds.

I secretly love mermaids, and the beach. Real talk. I feel like I’m a mermaid just like area. I love starfish, seashells, and the way the beach smells. I enjoy roaming it. I always have God on my mind.

I am passionate about writing. I can have such writer’s block, but watch the moment that God grants me with a spark of an idea, I can write pages within ten plus minutes. The fire that begins to up rise in me is incredible. My writings can be very prophetic. There are things that I wrote years ago with the motive behind just writing for the idea. During last year especially, I began to find out just what my writings meant. They were not merely for ideas, but God expressing His hidden mysteries regarding my life. I connect deeply with God and my future husband through my writings to them both. It’s just incredible.

I was formed by a Creative God. And therefore, I am filled with creative abilities. I might not understand in full the abilities I have, but God is surely speaking to me through them.

I am a warrior. This season of my life has taught me so much.  Out of it all, I’ve learned I’m a warrior highness.

Last to know about me, for now…I am healed. I am set free. I am a new creation. And in this new season, I am a woman of faith, and the grass won’t be able to grow under my feet as I walk in faith. I am made whole. I am a warrior, but at peace. I am STRONG and capable of great things. I am purely rare, set apart. Beautiful and precious, but most definitely unique and different. I walk in supernatural excellence, highly anointed. I am a…jewel, in my Father’s crown. He’s where I derive my purpose and identity from. Queen Status.”

That’s all I can think of for now. But those are the most sacred pieces of my heart. God has been the keeper of all these secrets, but He’s pushing me to unleash them so potential and purpose can be unlocked. It’s time now. These quirks, dreams and confessions are prophetic. Some are even in the making.

What are some unique things about yourself? Share some in the comments!

Dear Baby Boy- A Father’s Day Letter to my future son

Dear Baby Boy,
Of all the struggles, I pray you never have to struggle with this one. It is my sincere prayer that you are loved and cared all the days of your life by future daddy and I. I was reminded today on June 18, 2017 of the importance of fatherhood. I’m not sure how young you’ll be when you read this. I definitely want you to understand of the importance of the role of two father figures in your life. The first is your earthly father. I’m only 21 and I haven’t exactly meant your father yet, as I’m writing this, but I’ve been praying for your earthly daddy since the time I was 14. Praying that he’ll be everything that you need and want. And though he won’t be able to fill the voids and the cracks in your heart, I know he will be the emotional support you’ll need everyday. I can tell you one thing about him I have full faith in…he will be a man that chases after the savior’s heart. You’ll never have to question if he loves you because His Heavenly Father above has taught him how to love you and your siblings as God loved his son Jesus. He will teach you how to be a man one day, because that’s not something I am capable of. I will be here for you always, but the place of your father is one that I simply cannot fill. Your dad will talk a lot, and drive you crazy at times. For all you know, this is a prophecy of something that is already existing. He might even be getting on your nerves when he pushes you to try new things. But this is a good thing, future son. My father did that with me, and we will do that for you. You’ll realize soon enough that through the things your daddy pushes you towards, you’ll discover culture & creativity & passion. I want you to remember that also through your Heavenly Father, you’ll discover your worth as a King. He is your ultimate Father and you should always put Him first before anyone else. Because when you’re dad and I aren’t there with you at times, He will never leave. There’s so many promises to assure you of that…

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8

I love you future son. And I can’t wait 4 the day you are born and also the day that you become a father and can do the same thing for your children.  You’ll never have to wonder because you have a support system built up around you, and you haven’t even been born yet.

See you soon, king.
Photo credit to Pinterest

God’s Word to me: Silence through the Struggle

 

“You may not understand what’s happening in your life right now. But I’ve got you right where I want you. I need you to become so content in Me, that I’m enough for you. I’m not silent because I don’t love you. Right now, your trust in Me is tested by how willing you are to hold onto my Word. Will you praise me even when you question my where abouts? Will you push forward and allow me to do the work for you.

I will guide you through this. I will strip you of feelings of inadequacy and confusion. Stay close to Me, my Daughter. Keep your eyes lifted upon Me, as you live in continual surrender each day. Fear not, for I am with you. My Presence is always available to you. You just have to draw towards it. I am waiting in our secret place, where I wait daily to spend time with you.”

Black Kings: Reclaim Your Throne 

From the soul in your heart,

To the beauty of your skin,

You are a piece of art.

Every shape and facial feature,

Every curve, every line.

Everything about you, is stunning.

Yet society fails to recognize that,

even you do…at times.

With the eyes God gave me,  I only see black kings.

Men that have incredible strength that I have yet to see in any other race.

Your voice is beautiful…

Deep, slurrish, country…call it what you want. It reminds me of the sound of music.

Your hair is breath-taking.

Whether you wear it natural, braided or dreaded up.

Your culture is one I’m fascinated by,

Because of strong men and men who never failed when it came to strength.

Embrace it…your beauty is not what defines you as king. But you need to realize your overall value.

These are just a few things that enhance your Kingly status.

Stereotypes shall not limit you…

For you are more.

Regardless of your background, upbringing, family, home life, or parents,

You are a King.

Reclaim your throne, because your life can only be in control by you.

You weren’t meant to live as average.

You weren’t meant to live as less than.

A King is valued everywhere he goes, but first he must realize his identity before anyone else does.

When they try and devalue you, you shrug it right off. You already know who you are…

Rise up, King. Reclaim your throne.

Adjust that crown to sit upright on your head.

You are valued…
-Love your sister Queen who is rooting for you.

Purely Rare & Set Apart

I reminisce on my high school days. I was a set apart woman, well teenager for God. But in the days I spent sitting on a brick planter reading my bible during lunch, I became a stronger Christian. I felt like I was being equipped for greater. All of my “peers” around me talking about what happened last night, falling all over each other seeing how far they can go with each other in the court yards. It was hard not to crave intimacy when you’re constantly walking past the middle of the action. I had to refocus a lot. What did I desire?
Temporary pleasure, or lasting intimacy that only God could provide.

I grew closer to God during my high school years. I found my worth and value. I began understanding what purpose a woman of God had. I wasn’t solely a Christian, I was a Daughter of the Most High. It was those lonely nights of isolation that actually gravitated me closer to God. He always showed me His hidden mysterious and built me up in His sweet promises. My Father chose me to love… that’s breathtaking. I am so amazed. I so desire to be in those years again because they were truly beautiful. I love the fact that God spared me, protected me and hid me. I wouldn’t be as beautifully broken and built up in my faith, if it hadn’t been for those 4 years of preparation.

I am a jewel. I never viewed myself above what I should, but the scripture made it plan and clear how precious I am to my Father. But goodness, how can I be wrong for claiming and representing it? I longed to be valued by that. I believed I was strong enough to make it on my own, but being protected was one of the numerous ways I received love. And God knew that. I didn’t have a boyfriend or friends for that matter. I had to do things on my own a lot, and that’s mostly why I ate lunch alone. I thought it was because of something; at first it didn’t make sense that I was this beautiful person, yet people wanted nothing to do with me. And then my Father whispered His sweet thoughts to me. “I have set you apart, beautiful.”

In my mind I thought that only meant God viewed me a lot differently than others. Not that I was shown favoritism, but I understood that I did have great favor from my Father because I chose to walk in His ways. All true… but, the part of the set apart anointing was being put to the side for God. He wanted me to be hidden especially for Him. And again that went back to me being protected because God KNEW He had so much more for my life than what the high school experience had to offer. God chose to prepare me during those crucial years of influence to prepare me for what I am now. A strong woman of faith who is a prayer warrior with a set apart anointing.

Oh my Heavenly Father, I want to experience years like those again. I want revival again, I desire those dreams I always use to have. Sometimes twenty times a day. I am a dreamer, but I need your vision. God, to be honest, I want to experience you all over again. The fire has dimmed, but I ask that You’d ignite it and make it flame. I want to go on this journey with You and experience You like never before. Especially during the valleys. We grow so close when we go through the times of just You and I. You and I. You and I. Those words are so special to me. I may not be young like I used to, and I’ll never get those years back. I am grateful for what You showed me when I was younger. And I believe what I’m asking is that You would recreate that relationship again; where I wouldn’t miss you opportunities with you. I want to spend that time with You again. Remember Jesus, when we would have our date nights. People thought it sounded crazy. But during our time, You would pursue me. And I would praise You for how wonderful You were. I want that again, and as I go throughout this new season of my life, I pray you show up and show out like never before. Thank You for this new anointing, new identity in You, new passion, new dreams, new trials, new tests of faith, new creation, new things and a fulfilled testinmony.

I am purely rare, created by You O’ God.

Dear Rome…

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October 27, 2015

Dear Rome,

Your heart reflects pain and tribulations. You feel as if others can’t see your worth and understand your dealings. You feel weak inside, but express strength on the outside. You don’t realize that you are strength; that a vision of you is like a rock that can be thrown every which way but does not crumble. You are strong. A vision of your strength keeps recurring  of your back as a symbol. You are constantly enduring the weight of your world on your shoulders, but you are a warrior who fights it off. Rome, You are strong! You are so capable of endurance even though you don’t think you are. You got this, love.

Love Jewel

*This poem was fully inspired by the movie Rome & Jewel. A modern day version of Romeo and Juliet. I was inspired to write this about my future husband two years ago. Ironic enough, I was searching through my notebook and it was amazing how spot on, but really prophetic this “letter” was. One thing you will notice about my writing is that when  I write, it is solely based on something that is has already or is about to take place. My poetry has prophetic meaning behind them. God puts the idea in my heart, and I pray as He leads me to writing it. I was simply inspired after I watched the movie and simply enough, God started showing me what my future husband was going through at the moment in 2015. Be encouraged! I hope you’re enjoying my writings. Follow/subscribe, like, comment and connect with me! ❤